The Completely Random Story of Torture
by Lexi Kitsune
Summary: This is a story thought up by my muse, Foxi. He wanted to do a comedy fic, like Dynastysan's, so here it is. Hope you like it. It'll have a lot of chapters. Heaven help me.
1. Default Chapter

The Completely Random Story of Torture  
  
L- Lexi Kitsune (Me) F- Foxi Okami (My Muse)  
  
F- Hi! Foxi here, the King of Randomness and Comedy! Lexi and I are making a comedy fic where we completely torture anyone but Numbuh 5, 'cause she's cool, baby!  
  
L- Leave me out of this. It was your idea. It's on my account, but it's your story. Well, I'm a calm and depressed authoress, and you don't wanna cross me. Oh, and SOMEONE, I choose this story to exact my revenge for your reckless reviews.  
  
F- YAY! Revenge! Laughs evilly, then falls over  
  
L- He's an idiot, but I still love him. Okay, I think it's time to go over the warnings. Foxi-sama?  
  
F- Please, Foxi-kun. Okay, Lexi is VERY DANGEROUS for a 13-yr-old. She is very depressed, and constantly thinks about death. If you hurt her, physically or emotionally, I will kill you. You have been warned. If you have any brain at all, you know that authors and authoresses have great power. Watch you're back!  
  
L- Thank you, Foxi-kun. Peaceful smile  
  
F- OH MY GAWD! I MADE YOU SMILE! OH MY GAWD! I'm not a complete failure! YEEEEEESSSSS! Runs around screaming  
  
L- nods, smirking Okay, Foxi-sama, he's my best friend. Touch him and you die. He is very dangerous himself. He can be very evil too, so be careful. He has a lot of friends, like Super Saien Goku, Sailor Jupiter, WOOHP spy Alex, and PPG Blossom. His family is even more dangerous, with siblings such as, Inuyasha, Hawk Girl, Shaman Horo Horo, Ron Stoppable, and Digi-Destined Tai. Be very careful. The only one he won't attack is me. Good Luck.  
  
F- Foxi-KUN! You are my best friend! Foxi-kun! Pouts You are MY kobito!  
  
L- death glare Do you know what kobito means?  
  
F- blinks Uhhm, no. I think it means BBF?  
  
L- it means lover. So no, you're not my kobito. You have Heart, remember? Heart is © to my friend Lauren Tailor, a friend of mine.  
  
F- Oh. Yeah. I forgot.  
  
L- rolls eyes You are impossible.  
  
F- You still love me, right?  
  
L- Right. Smiles  
  
F- YAY! Glomps  
  
L- Hxl... can't... breathe...  
  
F- Oh! Gomen! Lets go  
  
L- doesn't move  
  
F- LEXI! WAKE UP! OH, HOW DID MY CPR TRAINING GO?!?  
  
L- wakes up Don't even think about it.  
  
F- LEXI! glomps gently  
  
L- smiles Much better.  
  
F- beams  
  
L- Well this has been a bit too long for my liking. Foxi-kun?  
  
F- Right! Lexi and I do not own KND, or anything related.  
  
L- Okay, say it.  
  
F- On with the fic!  
  
L- Good boy. Have a cookie.  
  
F- YAY! Stuffs cookie in his mouth  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
One fateful Saturday night, the KND made another mistake, but this one was not on accident...  
  
1- Okay, we've got a code yellow mission. The under ground mansion nearby is holding thousands of kids and torturing them! We've got to go rescue them!  
  
KND- cheers  
  
4- Wasn't that place under kid-control last time we checked?  
  
1- We got a message from Operatives 10.6 and 10.7! Isn't that enough for you? Starts screaming obscenities  
  
4- 0.0 yes.  
  
Okie Dokie, Let's go! =^-^= Skips out the door  
  
Something's wrong with Numbuh 1... 0.o  
  
starts singing the rainbow monkey song  
  
Everyone within vicinity- 0.o?  
  
5-Something's DEFINITLY wrong with Numbuh 1...  
  
Numbuh 2! COME GET THIS BLASTED THING WORKING!  
  
Right away, captain! Scrambles to start his new machine  
  
Ya know what, Numbuh 4?  
  
4- Wot'?  
  
3- I think we're gonna die.  
  
4-nods Yep.  
  
5-Numbuh 5 ain't worried. She's the authoresses' fav.smirks  
  
4-Next to me, of course.  
  
1-3- X.X  
  
They fly to the under ground mansion, and Numbuh 1 acts even weirder, if that's even a word...  
  
BWAAAHHHAAAAHHHHAA! STUPID 2 THROUGH 4! YOU'VE FALLEN RIGHT INTO MY TRAP! laughs some more  
  
2-5- 0.o Huh?  
  
5- 2 through 4? What about 5?  
  
Well, I can't laugh at you, because you're the authoresses' favorite.  
  
5- Coo'.  
  
blows up  
  
All- 0.o Okay...  
  
L- Welcome Kids Next Door.  
  
F- Hi!  
  
Remaining KND- Hi...  
  
L- Well, Robo-Numbuh-1 is, or I guess, was right. This was a trap, set by your fellow operatives. My friends Numbuh 9g2G, Dynasty-San, Adrian, Monica, and Sailor Venus will be here soon to help torture you. Foxi and I have already started on Numbuh 1, since we kidnapped him early.  
  
F- Also, some of Lexi's OC's will come soon! Lesse, there's 5 demons, a robot, Her other muses, a fairy, a lizard, 2 humans, and her Pokemon, who can conveniently talk. Wow. What a load.  
  
L- Yep. All we've got to do is wait for our guests to show up. Numbuh 5, will you do us the honor of helping us torture your friends?  
  
5-Okay. Numbuh 3 broke my CD player last week.  
  
3-All KND members (except 5) is chained to a wall  
  
L- Well, nice little trap, don't you think? It was Foxi-kun's idea.  
  
F- beams  
  
L- If anyone wants to be in my fic, please send what you look like, and give yourself a numbuh. You don't have to do the Numbuh part, though. You must include your fav animal, your fav name that you don't have, and you hair and eye color.  
  
F- SOMEONE, in the next chappie, YOU GONNA DIE, BABY! Laughs evilly  
  
L- gives evil smile Good Luck, SOMEONE, you're gonna need it.  
  
I hate you.  
  
L- I know.  
  
Lexi K and Foxi O © themselves. 


	2. The Guests Arrive!

TCRSOT 2!  
-  
  
L- Well, here we are again. I guess it was a good idea, Foxi-kun, since we got so many reviews...  
  
F- YOU GUESS?!?  
  
L- Okay, it was a really good idea.  
  
F- Aw right! I rule!  
  
L- Sticks Popsicle in his mouth There. That should shut you up...  
  
F- ...!  
  
L- Now, enough with the chatter, and on with the fic!  
  
*@*@*@*@*  
  
In the Torture Chamber that Lexi set up...  
  
4- ARE YA GONNA KEEP US UP HERE DA WHOLE TIME LEXI-WHATEVAH IS DECIDING WHAT TO DO WITH US?!?  
  
1- Seems so, Numbuh 4... As soon as I get back to headquarters, Numbuh 5, I'm putting you under team betrayal!  
  
5- Right. Yo, Lexi!  
  
L- Yes?  
  
5- Do you have a thing ta wipe Numbuh 1's brain a dis lil' 'incident'? Numbuh 5 don't wanna get decommissioned just yet...  
  
L- After we're done torturing them, I will perform a memory washing spell... Don't worry, Numbuh 5. They won't have any memory of the incident... Meanwhile, Foxi-kun, our guests should be arriving any time now, so when you see them, lead them right here!  
  
F- Got it! leaves  
  
F- Standing by the door Welcome, boys, girls, and KND torturers! Team members 1-4 are at your disposal!  
  
Numbuh 9g2G (9g2g)- Walks in Nice! Lexi-chan has quite a layout...  
  
Room is covered in torture devices from all countries, rainbow monkeys (for Numbuh 4) and Mind Control helmets...  
  
F- Ah! Our first guest! Right this way, 9g2g-san! Kisses her hand  
  
9g2g- 0.o Uh, okay...  
  
L- Sees 9g2g-san Ah! Hello, I got them all chained up, I'm gonna need some extra ideas on how to torture... That's why you're here, and to have a ridiculously good time torturing Numbuh 4...  
  
9g2g- Glad to be here. Oh, and him, is he...?  
  
L- Foxi? He's mental, to a certain extent... Watch what you do...  
  
9g2g- 0.o okay. I will...  
  
L- Okay, before I forget, I want to clear something up. Sama means older male or respected man. San means older female or respected woman. Kun means a younger boy or male friend. Chan means younger girl or female friend. Okay people? It annoyed the &$@! outta me when people call Numbuh 1 1-chan or 1-san and it absolutely kills me when they call Numbuh 3 3-sama or 3- kun... Just to get that straight.  
  
F- If you wanted to say all the KND, you would say, KND-tachi, which means all. If you knew this stuff, please ignore this notice.  
  
9g2g- Can we get torturing now??? I wanna tie Rainbow Monkeys to Numbuh 4!  
  
4- screams in fright and fury  
  
L- We have to wait until the Queen of Torture arrives!  
  
9g2g- Who? Oh, you mean-  
  
F- from the hallway Hey, Lexi, Dynasty-san-san is here!  
  
D-san- It's just Dynasty-san, thank you! Sheesh...  
  
L- Hello D-san! bows quickly Welcome to my KND-torturing abode! It is truly a honor to have such great artists in my home! Now the only ones who are left are-  
  
F- LEXI! ANOTHER PERSON'S HERE!!!  
  
LK, D-san, and 9g2g walk in, met by Foxi and a girl with short, light brown hair, with snake-like turquoise eyes (very pretty) wearing a dark blue shirt with a '22' on it, and green jeans.  
  
New Girl- Hi! Name's Numbuh 22, and I'm here to torture fellow operatives 1- 4?  
  
F- Hi 22!  
  
L- Yes, you've come to the right place, 22. Please go and keep the KND company...  
  
22- Right, then I get to torture them? evil smile  
  
L- Nods  
  
22- Good, I didn't want my snakes to have nothing to do... pulls out snakes  
  
F- screams and passes out  
  
L- He's afraid of snakes...  
  
22- Ah... drags F off to go torture the other numbuhs  
  
L- Okay, the only one missing is—  
  
loud knocking is heard  
  
L, D-san, and 9g2g- o.0  
  
L opens the door, and a girl walks in. She has short blond hair, and her hair had blue in it... She also had big blue eyes, wearing a purple shirt that said, "KND Rulah" and blue jeans.  
  
Girl- Name's Rachel Thompson, AKA Numbuh 138!  
  
L- Yes! For now, we're all here! Now, to get down to torturing!  
  
F- any ideas? We're new at this...  
  
D-san- I made this for Numbuh 4 on the way over. Pull him down, I want to show him.  
  
4- twitches  
  
L- Sorry 4... pulls him over to D-san  
  
D-san- Here ya go! sticks boxing gloves on his paws  
  
4- blinks  
  
D-san- Punch something.  
  
4- shrugs and punches the wall  
  
the gloves break apart, revealing his hands wrapped in the mouths of two Rainbow Monkeys...  
  
4- NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
4 gets dragged into RM %&@$  
  
All except D-san- o.0 ?!?  
  
D-san_ Nobody messes with me. He broke my Surround Sound system... evil grin  
  
L- Remind me never to get D-san mad...  
  
F- Ditto. both look freaked out  
  
L- this is all I can think of right now, so plz review and tell me what to do. No shootings, no killing, and definitely NO LEMONS!!!  
  
F- shudders  
  
L- See ya! Review, and give me ideas! 


End file.
